The Good Wife's Guide
Note: This may actually be fake. See Snopes.
- Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have be thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they get home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.
- Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.
- Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
- Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Run a dustcloth over the tables.
- During the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering to his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.
- Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Encourage the children to be quiet.
- Be happy to see him.
- Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
- Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
- Don't greet him with complaints and problems.
- Don't complain if he's late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through at work.
- Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or lie him down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.
- Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.
- Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.
- A good wife always knows her place.
http://www.j-walk.com/other/goodwife/index.htm
The Perfect Wives of 2011
- When you come home from work and taking the kids to their practices make sure you are ready to cook like a mad woman because by now your husband will be very hungry.
- Don't complain about your day, what a jerk your boss is, or what annoying co-workers you may have because no matter what his day has been worse than yours.
- Let him be take care of all the discipline after all, he is a man, he knows best.
- Make sure the house is picked up and you have done a little laundry after you have finished the supper dishes. You would hate for him to wake up to a mess before he goes fishing, golfing, hunting, or whatever the case may be.
- Make sure you have a schedule posted of where you will be because he is apt to need you at any time of the day. Keep your cell phone on silent or vibrate if you must. Make sure you can get his emails, tweets, or FB statuses and you respond promptly. If need be tell the person conducting the meeting that you have a "female issue" and excuse yourself quickly!
- Have the remote where he can find it and all of his favorite tv shows DVRed.
- Be sure to remind how your husband how perfect he is and how you suffer in comparison to him. Just in case he goes an hour without reminding you.
- Be sure not to bother his tackle, guns, hunting clothes, golf gear etc. This will only upset him. When he throws your belongings around just smile and say "Thank you."
- And always kiss him goodnight.
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