When I started feeling like I was slurring my words and my mind was going totally blank I blamed it on stress and Fibro Fog. The fibro part probably didn't help, as a matter of fact it generally goes hand in hand. Depression was the farthest thing from my mind. What did I have to be depressed about? I have always been very blessed. I was raised in a good Christian home, had a loving husband, my kids were healthy, and I was realizing a dream. What I never wanted to admit was I had several bouts of depression over the years. I am not even sure when it started. I can thank genetics for this chemical imbalance.
Depression is not just being a little sad. It is a demon that must be fought. For some people it is a daily fight that is hard to win. My body hurt so bad, I did not have enough energy to raise my arms to put my clothes on. I thought I had a stroke or something. I always believed one could control depression. I was proved very wrong. I started having morbid thoughts that did not seem like my own. I could not remember anything from one minute to the next. All these things did just happen over night either. I was just oblivious to what was happening to me. When I started thinking how much better every one would be with out me and planning out what I hoped to be my death I still was clueless as to what was happening. People say they do not understand how other people can commit such an atrocious act. Be thankful you have not reached a point in your life where you have that understanding. Don't get me wrong, there are people who try things for selfish reasons only to get attention. People suffering deep depression have little or no control over their thoughts. Thankfully I had the support I needed. My sister drove me to the doctor, my husband was supportive, and I had MANY friends praying for me. I was one of the lucky ones to get help. Many are not. It is hard to understand for those who have never suffered from depression to realize it isn't just a mood you can get over.
My daily plea is if you know someone suffering from depression please help them to get help. There is help out there. Medication is what saved me but there are tons of therapies offered as well. Help this person with research, talk to others who have been going through the same difference. Help the person keep a log. My husband went to my doctor with me and told him things I did not realize I was doing. This really helped me to understand things and figure out what steps to take.
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